Martyr

I have come to realize that I spend a lot of energy trying to make everyone happy. I even sacrifice my own well being and happiness to assure someone else is happy. I can list a million different reasons why I am like this but can't think of one way to stop. I spent a lot of time being a selfish person. I am the total opposite now. I try to make everyone happy and it seems like the majority of this is money based. I think if I buy someone something they will be happy with me. Never works like that. I also do things I really don't want to do so I won't disappoint anyone. I would rather suck up any pain I am feeling or just push my anxiety down in order to make them happy. I am getting old before my time. Each time I go with the flow I become more and more empty. I am

Honestly to the point that I am either going to totally lose it or make some serious changes. I have always been a fighter. I just need to do some searching and ressurect the part of me that made me so strong.