Still can't say his name...

I still can't say his name without wanting to cry. I can't think of that grin without wanting to hug his neck. The only peace that I get is thinking of him walking with Jesus in the light. No more pain. No more suffering. No more addictions. I see him sometimes and then I remember he isn't here with us anymore. I also take comfort in remembering the last time that I saw him was when he had just got out of church. It was the first time in a long time that I had seen him so dressed up. I had only seen him dressed up like one other time and that was the day he married a girl so nervous her legs were shaking so bad that I thought she was going to fall down. I am so thankful to the Lord for letting me see him so cleaned up the last time that I saw him. And I am so thankful for being able to have had that grin in my life for so long. The grin that now smiles for my sweet Jesus.