Bishop Jakes words on death

BISHOP TD JAKES: In moments like this, it feels -- it feels like death has won. But the bible says that love is stronger than death. Your hearts are heavy, tears flow down. Your spirits are wounded. I feel that too. I didn't have the privilege of knowing him as long as many of you have done. I understand what it is to be in pain. You look around and everybody you love and everybody you can count on and everybody you can trust seems to be slipping through your fingers. And it feels as though death has won. The first family, when Cain killed able, it seemed like death had won. Noah escaped the flood. Still he died. It looked like death had won.

Isaiah was an eagle-eye prophet, he could see thousands of miles and years away. Still he died. It looked like death had won. Habaka had come as a prophet to Israel, spoke truth so powerful and so profound, but no matter how close he was to God, still he died. It looked like death had won. We've seen scientists and astronauts and politicians and great thinkers of the ages and no matter how profound and prolific or bright they were, still they died. It looked like death had won. But the bible kept saying that love is stronger than death. And like two gladiators in a fight. Every time they enter into the ring it looks like death has won... Love rolled into the ring and said wait a minute, death. You've been bullying people for a long time. But I want to set the record straight. Love is greater than death. But early Sunday morning, love rolled up his sleeves and said wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Snatched great death and took the sting out of death and the victory out the grave.
I want you to understand in a very practical and pragmatic way that death has NOT won.

Your tears may flow. Your pain may come. The flowers will wither. The cards will all be filed away. The phone will stop ringing. Mama said, they're going to stop ringing after a while. Cakes and pies all stop coming. Don't you dare think that death has won. You will learn what all of us know who have lost people that we love. You'll be driving down the street one day and you'll hear your loved ones voice talking in your head. Something he said or something he did will pop up in your spirit and you'll giggle inside of yourself as if he were sitting in the car with you. And you will find that people that you really love, they may leave you outwardly, but they never leave you inwardly. May the love of God, the peace of the Holy Spirit, the sweet communion of knowing that you are a child of the king keep you through this period in life when it might appear as if death has won, but it's alive. Love will last forever, for God is love.

Preparing my heart and mind

In yesterday's sermon my preacher talked about preparing ourselves for church. I had never thought about preparing my mind and heart for worship services. I spend time getting my hair and makeup just right but don't give a second thought to getting ready spiritually. I sometimes pick out my clothes the night before but don't prepare myself internally the night before. I spend more time getting my physical self ready instead of getting my head and heart ready.

I almost skipped church yesterday and would have missed out on hearing something that not only spoke to my heart but changed my heart. I need to spend more time preparing myself spiritually for church. I should make it easier for the Lord to see what's in my heart by preparing myself to receive his Word. God doesn't see my lipstick or my hair style. He sees what's inside of me.

Cross-stitching

I have recently started cross-stitching again. I have done it in the past but have really taken to it this time. It is relaxing and takes my mind off of things. I really enjoy learning all of the lingo and techniques. I am going to start posting about more things in my life than just weight loss. It seems that my weight loss has been the main topic of too many of my blogs. I can't complain about others only being able to talk about one subject if I do the same thing. I have way too full of a life to just concentrate on one thing.

A new season

God will give always you the Grace for what season you are in. ~~~Joel Osteen

I feel that my season of mourning is over and my season of doing is here. It is time for me to move on and be open to blessings. I can't expect God to bless me when I am not open to the blessing. Letting go doesn't mean forgetting. It just means that I am ready for a new chapter. A new chapter that is full of planning, doing, and living as if my prayers have been answered today. I feel like the ant who is preparing for the future. I am no longer the grasshopper who is laying around and waiting on my blessing. I am spending everyday in action mode getting ready for God's blessings.

Surfacing

A lot of stuff seems to be surfacing. I have pushed down so much pain over the past few years and now it is all coming to the surface. I am glad. Now I can learn to deal with it and heal. I will never be a whole person until I start dealing with this crap. Last year I was hurt by someone I thought loved me but obviously didn't. I was always there for this person and went out of my way to make her feel like she was a sister to me and not just a friend. This pain has been with me since then and I have decided that how I feel about her and what happened is what I am going to focus on over the next few days. I am going to process how I feel about it then I will have to let it go. The pain has been holding on for too long and it is time to walk away from it. I can't change the past or what happened but I can stop it from changing who I am.

Tired

I have sure had a rough day. I need to start making decisions based on what is best for me and not on what is good for others. Being there for everyone and making choices based on what makes them happy or betters their life is what I have been doing for too long. I see where they benefit and all I am doing is watching my dreams fade. 42 is way too young to be this friggin tired.

Week 10

My KIO challenge is almost over. I have a little over a week left and I am soooo proud of the changes that I have made. The last week has been a bit rocky but I pushed through. I have lost over 10% of my body weight and a lot of inches. I have also learned more about the dynamics of a support group. I can never repay the powers that be for this opportunity. All I can do to show my appreciation is to continue on this path and continue to be successful. 

KIO week #6

I am down 19 pounds and feeling great! Here is an article about this week's weigh in and workout. http://www.ksla.com/story/21726643/knock-it-off-team-try-cardio-hip-hop-to-sweat-away-calories


SHREVEPORT, LA (KSLA) -

The Knock It Off Team is half way through their 12 week weight challenge. Six weeks ago KSLA News 12 selected 12 people to ditch the excuses and get moving toward a healthier lifestyle. Monday night, the team danced off hundreds of calories with fitness expert, Patrick Mosley from Mosley's Movements.

After 45 minutes of sweating off the calories, the Knock It Off Team walked away soaking wet. Mosley's Movements specializes in Cardio Hip Hop, which mixes boxercise, kick boxing, and dance. Mosley's Movements owner, Patrick Mosley has witnessed the weight fall off of his clients. Mosley says, "Exercise is great for your heart, it's great to build muscle to support joint and bone density and get rid of toxins."

The Knock It Off Team has spent the past six weeks learning how to make smart choices when it comes to food. Since week two, they've been incorporating exercise. They had no idea what was in store for them when they entered Mosley's Movements. Team Member Marsha Woolf-Barnett says she felt like she burned 1,000 calories from the work out.

Mosley teaches his clients portion control, calorie count, and exercise. They are the same principles LSU Health Nutrition Specialist, Dr. Dennis Wissing has been stressing and it seems like it is paying off for the group.

Woolf-Barnett says, "I am losing it slow 1-2 pounds per week and I feel like because I am doing it different and I'm taking my time, I'm not competing to lose 100 pounds in a month and I am taking it slow and I really feel like I can hold off the weight this time."

Team members still got a chance to weigh in. LSU Public Health student and team leader, Lori Panu has been overseeing this part of the challenge.

Several of the team members had other obligations and couldn't make the work out, so we don't have a total loss for the group for this week; however, the part of the team that did weigh-in had either a small loss or maintained their weight. The group remains at 98 pounds lost.

4 week results

In a few days I will be 4 weeks into the Knock It Off challenge. I am down 16 pounds, 5 inches off of my waist, and 5 off of my abs! I am actually starting to see a little muscle tone in my mid section. I am super stoked. Today I am going to take a line dancing class. I have never line danced before so I am super excited. Before this challenge I never would have dreamed of taking a line dancing classes. On a side note: I haven't had an antidepressant in 3 weeks. God is so good when you open yourself up to his blessings. Have a super ab fab Saturday!!!

Preview of 1st weigh in

This is a preview for our 1st weigh in. I knew I had lost more weight so I was making sure she slid the scale over more. Onward & Upward!

L-Tyrosine

http://www.livestrong.com/article/444612-does-l-tyrosine-cause-any-side-effects/ One of the goals that I have with my weight loss is to be healthy. I don't want to just be skinny. I have been feeling bad for a few days and looked over what I have been eating and drinking for the past week. I realized that one of the drinks is loaded with L-Tyrosine. I did a little research and found that it can mess with my thyroid meds. Another thing that interacts is tuna, salmon, and cauliflower all of which I ate on Wednesday. I have spent the past few days overloading my body with things that interacts with my thyroid levels. I have also spent the past few days hurting and feeling miserable. I am going to make more of a conscience effort to eat or drink foods that effect my levels in moderation.

Knock It Off Video

KSLA News 12 Shreveport, Louisiana News Weather

http://www.ksla.com/story/21252606/twelve-locals-prepare-to-knock-it-off-with-ksla

Week 1 weigh in

I did great! Lost 9 pounds! Proud of myself but even prouder of my team. We lost a total of 42 pounds! Being in a group has really helped me. I never realized how much having a support group would help me but I have found their support to be invaluable.

My team

Slideshow

Knock It Off Day 4

I have finished 3 days of the Knock It Off program and feeling pretty good about it. I am slowly but surely changing my mindset and getting back into the swing of getting healthy. Last year reeked havoc on my body and this year I am going to give it some much needed TLC. I am going to mentally do things as well. It seems like every time that I lose weight I only reward myself when I hit major milestones. This time I am rewarding myself every 5 pounds that I lose. Another thing I have done in the past is to reward myself with athletic items such as a new gym bag or running shoes. Those things are a nice reward but I am saving them for major milestones. For the small hurdles that I overcome I am going to reward myself with something pretty. Even if its just a new tube of lipstick or a pair of cheap earrings. Anything that will put a bounce in my step will help me to feel more confident. The more confident I feel that more apt I am to stick with this.

Another thing I am doing differently this time is that I am not focusing 100% on weight loss like I have in the past. I think I get so obsessed with the whole weight loss/working out thing that I crash and burn. I am sure that I am also annoying to others with my constant barage of fitness facts! LOL! I am doing my food diary ahead of time and setting a schedule of when I workout. I have a whole life and want to live that way. Not just be onesided. Being healthy means more than just losing weight. Being mentally healthy is just as important as being physically healthy and vice versa. I guess I better get started on day 4.

Day #2

I made it through the first day! Yay! Out of curiosity I weighed myself and I am down a significant amount of weight. I am sure it is fluid but the scale moving down is always uplifting no matter what! I am not going to reveal how much I lose except of weigh in days. I go to my next meeting on Tuesday and will weigh in again. I am so excited that I still have several days to lose even more. Other than not having a soda I didn't make any major changes yesterday. I made small changes during the day which added up to a lot as far as the scale is concerned. Smaller portions, less sodium, nothing fried, more fiber, and I ate at the table. I think the most significant change I made was to wait 20 minutes after I started eating my meal before I went back for seconds. I started timing myself as soon as I sat down to eat. I have to admit I was surprised at how long those 20 minutes seem to last. It only took me about 4 minutes to eat and I am a slow eater. I was also surprised at how bad I wanted to go get seconds. I had to MAKE myself stay away from the kitchen during those last few minutes. When the 20 minutes was up I didn't want anymore food. Had I not waited those 20 minutes I would have eaten seconds even though I didn't want them. I cannot express how proud of myself that I am for making the changes. Onward and upward to a healthier me!

Comfort

          On more than one occasion my hairdresser has said that she won't wear scrubs to work because they make you fat. I have to admit I didn't put much thought into her statement before last night. One of the things that we learned at Knock It Off last night was to not eat in front of the TV. I have read that many times but it never hit home until last night. At least 90% of my meals are eaten in my big comfy chair. I spread out and get as comfortable as possible. I also have to admit that usuallt my hubs brings me my supper while I am still sitting in my chair. It has even come to the point that I expect it. The other day I have an epiphany that if I continue this behavior I will be one of those people who get too big to leave their house or even get out of bed. I don't want to be one of those people. In an effort to not be one of those people I am going to make simple changes in my lifestyle. The first one being to not eat in my comfy chair so often. I have a nice dining room table that is used as more of a catch-all than a place to eat meals. I have decided to get out of the comfy chair and sit at the table to eat my meals. Just like my hairdresser's aversion to wearing scrubs to avoid being too comfortable I am going to avoid my comfy chair while eating my meals.

          Another change I am going to make revolves around comfort: eating for comfort. I have spent the past few months eating to ease the internal pain that I have been filling. But has food really replaced what I have lost or has it added to the pain? I have tons of positive things in my life that have brought me happiness that do not involve food. I have a very full life with lots of loved ones in it. So why do I need to turn to food for comfort? I honestly cannot answer that question. Food might provide momentary comfort but once that sensation is gone it leads to further sadness or depression. And sometimes it leads to anger. The last thing I need is to be mad at myself over a cheeseburger. I spend enough time beating myself up over not having a spotless house or a 4.0 GPA. I don't need the extra brain noise telling me that I am a failure because of my eating habits. I might accept that fact that I have some dust in my house and that I have a 3.5 GPA but I will not accept the fact that food is my comfort. I have decided that I will keep something that brings me comfort in each room in my house. I will make sure that these items are in sight when I walk into the room. Whether it is a family picture or a craft project that I am working on I will make sure to have those items readily available to pick up in an effort to take my mind off of wanting to turn to food for comfort. Comfort will no longer be responsible for my weight. I will be!

Knock It Off

Today is the big day! I start the Knock It Off challenge this evening. I am super excited and ready to get started. I am going to clear my mind of the weight loss "knowledge" that I think I have. I want to go into this with an open mind and a clean slate. I am not going to look back at the mistakes I have made in the past with losing or gaining weight. I am also planning on sharing what I learn with my friends and family. I am super excited to get started. I am also excited to meet the other people in the challenge. I am hoping to form some new bonds with them. I love meeting new people! Wish me luck!

Queen of Detox Pt.3

I just took the wrap off and measured. I lost 3 inches and am peeing like I just took a fluid pill. I know the inches that I lost is fluid but that's a god thing. I can skip taking my fluid pill today and if I can do something natural to avoid that then that makes me happy. I can't do another wrap for 72 hours because the stuff is still supposed to be working. I will most def do this again!

Woo Hoo!

Well the results are in: I was one of 12 people chosen to be in KSLA's Knock It Off weight loss challenge! I am so excited! Starting on the 12th of Feb. I will be in the challenge that will last 12 weeks. A nutritionist and a physical therapist to help me in my weight loss challenge. No prizes will be given which I think is great. The ultimate prize is becoming a healthier person. I think its better to NOT offer prizes but just the opportunity to become a healthier person. This will most definitely be a life changing experience for me. So blessed that I was chosen to be a part of it.

Queen of Detox Pt.Deux

I decided to do the wrap this morning. I figured my stomach goes down overnight naturally so I won't get real results. So far I am not impressed with the applicator. It is messy and hard to tell which side is the lotion side. My hands got messy from the applicator but I rubbed the excess on my double chin so maybe it will melt away inches from their too. Ha! The applicator doesn't lay down smoothly but my stomach isn't flat so that could be the problem. I added some Saran Wrap over the applicator and have one my tight workout capris. I have to say where the applicator is feels cold so I am wondering if it is doing its job. It feels like I have applied Ben Gay across my stomach. The instructions are a bit too general when it comes to water drinking. It says I have to drink the equivalant of half my body weight in ounces. But it doesn't say during the process of throughout the day. Surely to God I am not supposed to drink that much water over the next two hours. I am going to drink as much as I possibly can. I will check back in when the process is finished in a coupla hours.

Queen of Detox

I am all about some detoxing! I love my detox baths and my detox teas but I am thinking about taking it up a notch. I am going to do a detox wrap. You are supposed to leave it on for a few hours but I think I am going to sleep in it to make sure I get as many hours in as I possibly can! LOL! I will measure before I go to bed and then again in the morning. I have my fingers crossed that I will have done some major detoxing by tomorrow!

Before.....

These are my before pictures. I have lost 10 pounds since these were taken. I figure if I am going to blog about my weight loss I should be 100% open and honest which includes what I look like. I have nothing to hide when it comes to getting healthy and overcoming things that I have been through. These pictures are hard for me to look at because they show how far I let myself get back to my old ways but they are also what has motivated me to get on track. In a month I am going to take some more pictures of my progress. Hopefully I will be able to see a big difference. =)

When it all becomes clear

I have been a little upset for a few days over things not always working out for one reason or another at different non-profit organizations that I have volunteered at. This morning I came across a March of Dimes walk that will be held on my birthday. How awesome it will be to walk on my bday in Emma's name to help other babies? I really feel that I was meant for this. It is the perfect scenario. I get to help other babies on my birthday in Emma's name. I feel so blessed that the Lord put that walk in front of me. It makes me feel so much better about things. I am most def a doer and physically doing something to help ease my pain over her lose is going to go a long way toward my healing. I will be healing and I will be helping babies. Words cannot describe how happy this makes me. I feel driven again.

Slow and steady

I am down 10 pounds! I am so excited. They say the first step is the hardest but I think the first 10 pounds are the hardest. Losing the first 10 is the foundation and it takes longer to build a good foundation than the whole entire house. And without a strong foundation the house will crumble and so will any weight loss success. Of all of the times I have lost weight all I could see was the big picture. I overlooked the here and now. The foundation I laid was weak and crumbled because I worried more about losing fast at any cost. My new way of thinking is that if I lose 1 pound a week by the end of this year I will be 52 pounds lighter. Not bad if I say so myself. I don't have to lose 52 pounds in 6 months to be happy. Having a healthy mindset is making all of the difference in the world to me. O have I mentioned how much I dislike planks?

Interesting article

Please know that Calorie Count cannot and will not support you eating less than 1200 calories a day. We consider this unhealthy and CC is all about HEALTHY weight loss or weight maintenance.
From Mary Hartley, Calorie Count's Director of Nutrition: "By eating only 800 calories, you will not get enough energy, protein, fiber, vitamins, minerals and other components of food. In time, you could become malnourished, which can cause severe health risks such as respiratory infections, kidney failure, blindness, heart attack and even death."
Here is a brief reason why never less than 1200 from the Advice section of Calorie Count Plus, under the Q&A tab:
Why must I eat at least 1,200 calories a day when I want to eat less?
In order to get the daily food servings you need for a balanced diet, it takes about 1200 calories a day. With careful planning, you could have a balanced diet on 1000 calories, but the restrictiveness of a very low calorie level can lead to binging and weight cycling, which will take you further from your weight loss goal. What's more, very low calorie diets can cause excessive muscle breakdown and metabolic adaptations, which can drive down your calorie requirements. In the end, you'll need fewer calories to maintain a higher weight
Your body needs at least 1200 calories per day to survive.
Here is a very rough scientific break down provided by a dietitian for a 5' 2", 19 year old female weighing approximately 100 pounds, sitting around all day and doing nothing:

-The heart needs 12% of the calories (144 cals)
-The kidney needs 12% of the calories (144 cals)
-The Liver needs 23% of the calories (276 cals)
-The brain needs 23% of the calories (276 cals)
-The skeletal muscle needs 30% of the calories (360 cals)
**********************************************************************************
I have been guilty of  going on a really low calorie diet.  After a few weeks of it I was 10 pounds lighter and miserable. There is no way to be healthy on such a low calorie diet unless you are the size and weight of the example in the article. I want to lose weight to be healthy so I know that my body needs the proper nourishment in order to be healthy. I look back on what all I have put my body through and I am shocked that it is still functioning normally. Live and learn!

Kitten heels and pink polish

So yesterday when I was getting ready for church I decided to wear some heels. I haven't worn heels in several years. I wore the heels yesterday not because I was rewarding myself for losing weight like I have in the past. I wore them simply because I wanted to. I have to admit they made me feel spunky. Very spunky. So did the hot pink nail polish I had on. Sounds weird that just two little things can make a woman feel sexier but I find it to be very true. I think too often women don't do little things for themselves to feel good. We spend so much time taking care of others and trying to be Super Woman that we often overlook our own selves. We push aside things that make us feel good until the point that we become miserable and down on ourselves. For the past 6 months that's exactly where I have been. Miserable and down. But something about those kitten heels and the pink polish has given me a little boost. I feel at least a few layers of misery being pushed back and a litle more of me coming forward. I know that getting over the past 6 months is not going to be an easy task but I know I will triumph over the sadness that I have endured. I also know I will come out stronger than before.

Small things add up

I am doing this routine every morning when I wake up and right before I go to bed: 15 jumping jacks, 2 pushups, 10 crunches, 10 mountain climbers, and 10 sec plank. I am keeping the amount I do low so I don't get frustrated. Not sure how many calories I will burn and don't really care. Just wanting to gain my strength back. I have not had a Sprite today either. Just 5 more days until my splurge day. I feel great today!

Competition

 

I have signed up for a weight loss competition that is being done through a local news channel. I submitted my story and I am now waiting to see if I was picked or not. I am so excited. I am hoping this will give me back the motivation that I need. Fingers crossed! Even if I am not picked I still have challenged myself. I have a few things on my "Get Fit" challenge. First up: Add one second per day while planking. Yup I am going to attempt to plank....everyday! #2-No Sprite! That's it. Just two little changes this week. I will check back in mid-week to update on my progress.

One sided people= Boring people

One sided people annoy me. Yeah I said it and yes I let a certain type of person bother me. Maybe because in the past I have been one sided myself. Once I get into something I go at it 100% and push everything else aside. I let it become who I am and it defines me until the point I am exhausted and don't even recognize myself. Life is to short to just have one focus in life. Sure its good to get your workouts in, eat healthy, get good grades in school, volunteer at a non-profit, etc. But in my opinion a well rounded, strong person can fit all of those into life. The more versatile you are and the more active you are in ALL aspects of life the happier, healthier you are. Plus you come across as less annoying. I can only imagine how many times people would roll their eyes at me when I was going on and on about weight loss, working out or school work. It is hard but I try my best to not be so one sided anymore.

Healthy and wise

     I am in no way shape or form an expert on weight loss. But I can tell you a few things that do not work: laxatives, binge diets, fad diets, and laying on the couch. I have done them all. Sure some of the things I listed might work for awhile but in the end you will either wind up unhealthy or gain your weight back. I think the only true way to weight loss is through eating healthy and working out. And when I say eating healthy I don't mean starving yourself. I am totally in love with My Fitness Pal. It not only keeps me on track to not go over my calories it also keeps me on track to not go under. My weight loss is about being healthy and being under calories is just as detrimental to my health as being over. I also keep a count of my sodium intake and my fat intake. Having a high sodium and fat intake is in no way shape or form good for my heart. I have switched my focus to making sure ALL of my calories provide the correct amount of fat, sodium, carbs, etc. Binge eating my way through weight loss is also no longer an option for me. I used to be the world's worst about saving all of my calories to one meal a day. All that does is overload your system. Sure you might have weight loss results from doing this but shoot you can lose weight by smoking crack but it doesn't mean its healthy. Anywho! I have a busy day planned for today which includes hitting the gym even if its for a little while. I am not in a competition with others just myself. If the chick on the treadmill next to me is running 100 mph and has ran 10 miles I care not. All I care about is beating my own record. She will go home satisfied with her time and distance and so will I. Even if all I can do is 10 minutes. I still did 10 minutes.

Free your mind and the rest will follow

     Its been a few weeks since I have blogged and I sure have missed it. Blogging seems to be the best source of therapy for me. I have lost a few pounds since the last time I blogged. It seems like everytime I get to doing good with my weight loss something happens that takes me off of my path. Its my own fault. I shouldn't allow life to stop me from reaching my goals. I need to take all of the negative energy and use it when I run. Life didn't cause me to gain weight. I allowed it to happen. I didn't have to turn to food or the couch for comfort. I chose to do that. Heartaches come and go but you only have one body. Allowing myself to destroy my body then blame it on heartaches is not me. Even if I put 5 minutes a day into doing something for my health then I am on the right track. Its does take running a 5k everyday to be healthy. Little things can add up to major milestones. Somewhere deep inside of me I still have the inner strength and slowly but surely I am finding my way to it. A friend of mine gave me some great advice when I first started running. She said that when you are running and everytime your foot hits the ground you are stomping out negative things that go on in your life. She told me to imagine that the negative things are under my feet and that I am stomping the crap out of them with each step that I take. I have taken that advice a bit further. Everytime I reach my arm to stretch or push away dessert I visualize negative things floating away. Doing small thing to free my mind of the negative with result in my body following suit. You have to free your mind of garbage before you can truly become healthy.

Motivation

I have been doing all that I can to get motivated to go to the gym today. I finally talked myself into going and while I was there I had to talk myself into staying for the full 30 minutes. I did complete my 30 minutes and on the way out of the gym I saw one of my friends. She said that she had seen my truck sitting in front of them gym and that motivated her to go home, change her clothes, and come back to the gym. It made me feel great that even though I feel I have fallen so far down that I can still motivate someone. It motivated me so much that I have decided to start going to the gym at the same time on the same days every week so people will know they aren't alone and that they have someone to work out with.

Essence of True Sisterhood by Katrina LeShon

A true sister
Honors her sister
She praises her sister’s strong points
Whether its intelligence, beauty, or skills putting the right outfit together
She embraces her sister’s uniqueness
She stays in her own lane; she is not intimidated by her sister’s success
She doesn’t hate, she doesn’t cloak jealousy in her heart
She doesn’t mind seeing her sister go first
She doesn’t eclipse her time to shine
She doesn’t shoot down her aspirations or ideas
She doesn’t belittle or tear her down, to make self look good
She doesn’t gloat over her sister’s calamity
A true sister
Prays and intercedes with sincerity
She celebrates her sister; she wishes her the best
She supports, she encourages, she builds, and she edifies
A true sister
Respects her sister’s things, including her relationship
She doesn’t interfere; she doesn’t covet
She doesn’t overstep or cross boundaries
She covers, and protects; she loves at all times
She would never stand in the way of a blessing
Nor position herself as an enemy
A true sister in the Lord
Walks with integrity

July 19,2012

July 19,2012 is the last time I truly ran. I had to stop running because of the pain associated with gallbladder problems. I had surgery to remove me gallbladder on Oct.1 and it took me awhile to recover. A lot longer than I thought. 6 weeks after my surgery I lost my first grandchild which took an emotional toll on my already shaky psyche. In the past 5 months I have gained 25 pounds which puts me back to my highest total in weight. I swore I would never let this happen but life sometimes throws a monkey wrench in what we plan to do. I have also spent the last few months looking back on what was instead of living in the here and now. I have to slap my sports bra back on and get back on the gym floor! The past few months are behind me and I am going to live in the here and now. Onward & upward!

Onward & Upward: Good Works

James 2:18 - Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.

One thing that is near and dear to my heart is doing for others. I have slacked off on that this past year but will not beat myself up over it. I have had my own trials and tribulations but have come to the realization if I had stayed on the path of doing for others then I might not have had such a hard time. I miss the feeling that I get from lending a helping hand and being good to someone in need. I know good works won't get me into Heaven but it sure makes my life better and much more happier.

Onward & Upward: Me

One of the main things that I want to working on in 2013 is giving myself a break. I think I am way too hard on myself, don't give myself the credit that I deserve, and don't do enough for myself. Fixing all of those "flaws" isn't going to be easy but I feel it will be worth it. Its been a rough year or two for me and I know its going to take some time along with mental training for me to get where I need to be. One of the biggest things I need to tackle is feeling guilty if I do something positive for myself i.e working out. The past few months have been a fog for me and I have slipped back into wanting to hide from the world. With help from God I am going to HAVE to push myself through this. I need to find the strength inside me that I feel has been buried for awhile now. I know its still there I just need to scrape away all of the guilt, insecurities, and fear to get to it. I have set forth some personal goals that I want to accomplish and without my inner strength and strength from God I won't ever be able to meet those personal goals.