Are you listening or being polite?

So today I had a “discussion” with someone who told me to stop mentioning my illnesses then I get the “we all get it already” speech. And some folks wonder why there is still such a stigma. Folks want to know enough to relieve themselves of any guilt by not asking but not too much information because in all honesty some folks just don’t care. And honestly I would rather someone walk by me in Walmart and tell me they don’t care about my health than the fake polite how are you doing? Don’t get me wrong. I have done it. I have politely asked someone how they are and when they tell me all I am thinking about is I hope Billy D got the right cake mix. So why not just smile and wave? Is it better to be standoffish than fake? Am I being a better woman of God by honestly wanting to know how the person is? I don’t have so much going on in my life that I don’t have a few minutes to spare to truly listen to what is being said. You might be the only person he or she has spoken with all day or possibly days. So if they take up a few minutes of your time just appreciate the blessing you are giving them and praise God for putting you there to listen. 

This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.

Psalm 34:6

Dabbling in poetry

I have decided to do a little poetry. I have poems going through my head a lot but rarely write them down. I have thoughts and feelings that might not pertain to anything going on in my life. I just think the words are beautiful and want to share them. So please do not read more into my writing than what is there. 😘

The smoke and mirrors have been removed. 

What you now see is real.

 Not just a facsimile. 

To be real means to be free. 

Forever in your heart you will now always see the real me. 

The free me. The shining me. The loving you me. The forever me. The because of you me......❤️

Dove Hunting 101

Almost 7 years ago today at the age of 40 I got my first hunting license. In all honesty I used to gripe about hunting taking up too much of my husbands time. And then I went. Mind you I was not raised to run a trout line or skin a buck. That came after I was 40! The first time I went I only went because I wanted to get some walking in. Had no intentions us killing anything. We wound up with a deer and a hog. I was hooked. Every chance I took I would go hunting and did for a few years. Then my body decided to become angry with itself and go to war. Its been two years since I have been hunting. Praise the Lord for Poppa D. He would move our chairs for us when we needed to move spots. Never once did he complain about having me with him or how limited my walking was this morning. Never even shot one bullet today but sitting and shooting the breeze with Poppa D was better than shooting 1,000 doves. We talked mostly about the Lords plans for us in this new season. I will upload some video tomorrow. Just too tired tonight.

Ephesians

Let me start by saying the past few weeks have been some of the hardest of my life. So much has happened that I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around. Well I did have a problem but not anymore.

For months now God has been leading me to read the book of Ephesians. I even called my Dad to see if he could give me some info on the book. I still did not read it. I had numerous conversations with friends about it. Today during a conversation I was having the Lord kept putting Ephesians in my head. Still did not open my Bible. It is almost 11 p.m. and for some reason revenge and Ephesians kept rolling around in my aching head. I asked my hubby to Google "Ephesians" and "revenge". This is what he found: Ephesians 4:26-27  Go ahead and be angry but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,and do not give the devil a foothold. 

My first thought was how perfectly fitting these scriptures were today and sums up a lot of other things for me too. Then I opened up Ephesians and then Ephesians opened up me. Despite how fitting the scriptures summed up some stuff, these are not why the Lord has been directing me to read the book of Ephesians. This is:
Ephesians 4:32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
I am not God. It is not my place to even think I know what God will do. I have to trust in Him to guide and protect me. I also have to continue to have a forgiving heart. Its been a struggle all evening but I have found the forgiveness in my heart. When I close my eyes tonight I will do so with the peace of mind knowing I have forgiven everyone who has ever done me dirty. God did not steer me toward Ephesians to learn about anger; He sent me there to learn more about forgiveness. I am good on the angry part because for the most part I have anger under control. Its the forgiveness part that I sometimes struggle with. As wore out as I am both mentally and physically, I thank God for today. Its through trials that we evolve and grow. Change also comes with trials. Tomorrow is a brand new day and I intend to make the best of it. I will continue to right all of the wrongs in my life. My slate has been wiped clean by God but I need to right some wrongs. He has given me a pass but I would not be Marsha Ann if I did not work on myself to become a better person with each day that passes. I will shut this down with one last scripture:
 Mark 11:25 But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.
 
 Peace be with you and have a good night!

 

 

Matthew West - Forgiveness (Lyrics)

Overthrown

Its 7:15 and I am already hurting. Been up for almost two hours. The longer I am awake the worse the pain is. I really did not want to cry today but have been off and on since I woke up. Hopefully I can get in to see the doctor today. My mind has so much static right now. I just want it all clear so I won’t feel so low.  So much has happened over the past few weeks that even a “normal” person would be ready to shut down. I have been looking for a word that goes beyond defeated. When I looked up the word defeated the word “overthrown” was used a lot in the results. Seeing that word over and over made me realize I still have some spark left in me. No way will the devil overthrow me.  I will keep fighting.   I just need to roll with the waves a little bit longer. Keep praying and this will all soon be over.

Goodbye

One of my uncles passed away last night. I feel a connection to him because when I was little he was always so nice to me. His wife is my Mommas sister. Aunt Linda reminds me so much of my grandma. Its probably been 20 years or more since I have seen any of them. Growing up military you don’t always get to have a strong relationship with kinfolks. My heart is so heavy this morning but this is another sign to make the best out of each day. Love and forgive people daily. Don’t let the day pass by without telling someone that you love them. Also do at least one thing to make someone smile. I try to do this and its become such an awesome ritual for me. Being kind to others heals whats broken inside of me. Please remember my family in your prayers. 
#loss
#grief 
#love